Tears streaming down your face and a meltdown somewhere in a public bathroom because it’s not going the way you planned. Your wedding is ruined and you can’t pin point what went wrong!

Besides monster in laws, moms and guests to blame, you can actually be the dirty culprit that sent your happy flowery day spiralling out of control and into the eye of the hurricane.

Here’s how:

You fell for it!

The must have schemes. The biggest influence for weddings today is social media, trends and Pinterest (no surprise there). Even though we all know and love these little “pin it boards” they conspire against our better judgements. “Because everyone can see the same images they want at the same standard without regard to what their financial situation is” this according to Fabienne Laveau a wedding planner based in the US.

For Meg Keene, founder and editor of the popular blog “A Practical Wedding” it’s the site’s biggest traffic driver. “The wedding industry has always been focused on details, because that’s what you can sell…. With Pinterest, it’s been ramped up.”

You don’t need the tiny handmade butterfly mementoes or giant sphere balls hanging from a tree with fairy lights inside. Too much detail is too much detail and even more things for you to stress about – if there are so many potential things that can go wrong chances are murphy would love to pay a visit to your wedding and lend a not-so helping hand!

A nervous bride biting her fingernails.

Expect the unexpected.

You can’t control the weather and you can’t guarantee that your little ring bearer won’t want to use the little boys room the second you need the rings. Expecting too much is always a way to set yourself up for disappointment. Be prepared for anything and then try and have a plan B for that “anything” and then a backup plan for plan B. Things will go wrong!

DJ stuck in traffic? Hey, who can’t play some itunes of their Mac. If everything went perfect all the time then there won’t be those out of the ordinary memories to make.

Laugh it off and getting up is the best way to just carry on. Life is filled with a series of unfortunate events.

Unplug.

Sleeping, eating, breathing your day planner might not be the most resourceful way to get things done. Over obsessing is a real thing ladies and it’s stressful and unhealthy. If you feel like you can’t handle some of the pressures then hand some responsibilities over to a trustworthy maid of honour. Being a control freak can also send everything downhill. If we want something too bad and hold on to it for too long we’ll suffocate it.

If you don’t unwind you’ll end up alienating everyone around you and a bride without her brides maids could be the winner of “wedding bust” of the year.

Splurging and saving on the wrong things.

When you’ve chosen to spend too much money on unnecessary things and too little on the things that really matter, chances are you’ll realize it too late – so keep your eyes peeled for this one:

It’s important to know what to absolutely spend good money on to get desired results. Weddingbee.com set up a chart with results of what women thought were the most essential things to spend good hard cash on. The dress, Photography and Venue/ceremony/location where rated as the most popular. In fact photography took the most votes out of all the other wedding components. Things like food and drink are also a necessity; you can’t have your guests parched and hungry. The food does not have to be flaming duck or salted caramel macaroons but it should at least be edible. An open bar is not really crucial, alcohol is what leads to your second cousin (from your mother’s side) thinking it’s okay to make a speech about your frantic high school years. Beverages should be provided none the less – if you still have some cash to burn then we can talk about free drinks.

Choose wisely what you spend on – Wedding DJ’s are almost extinct. It’s much better to create a wedding playlist with a group of girlfriends than leaving the mood of the night in a stranger’s hands.

There has to be…

The DIY’s and the something blues and borrowed have a tendency to play tricks on your mind. It’s nice to have some key intricate things but if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. Learn to let go of really silly things. Weddings are not supposed to be keeping up with the Jones’s, if your best friend had her vows projected majestically on a wall while playing “The prayer” on violin don’t try and get Pavarotti to sing your wedding march. Your outshining moments will just be embarrassing burn outs.

You’re not focussed.

We’ve discussed the “control freak” aspect now lest talk about letting go of the wheel too much, so much so that you end up crashing into a tree. If you don’t focus and keep tabs or notes on what needs to be ordered or what has already been ordered then everything is bound to flop. You need to be on top things checklist and sticky notes don’t bite.

bride worried

Have you got the right guy by your side?

Last but not least, and this is a biggie. The biggest thing that can ruin your wedding is if you’re marrying for all the wrong reasons. You’re bound to ruin your wedding if you’re walking down the aisle with a hesitant feeling. Marrying someone because you want to escape the clutches of home or “It seems like the logical thing to do” is not a very plausible reason. Sexual attraction and love are not the same things and getting married won’t solve your problems. Be absolutely sure that this is what you want to do and that he is what you want for the rest of your life.

Final note…

The union between two people who love each other should not be about the fancy things, the perfect lighting and the décor. About the tiny details, the doves being set free on your “I do’s” or having the perfect wedding song.

It’s about you both completely promising yourselves to one another in front of friends and family, the fact that you’re allowed to commemorate this day with nice things and tiny extras  is a privilege and not a given.

 

Images Credit: prettypeacockplanning.com; www.fitbridebootcamp.co.uk, www.weddinghigh.com